So the new Kingdom Hearts game came out this week!

Now with 50% more falling teenagers!

I got into Kingdom Hearts kinda late and the first one I played was Chain of Memories, the intermediate between the first and second game, so I had no idea what was going on story-wise, but it was a pretty fun game. The game intrigued me for various reasons: Where is King Mickey? Who is Organization XIII? Why is Final Fantasy all up in this game’s bizzznezzz?!? I liked it so I said, “What the heck” and got the first game.

First thoughts: NO CARD BATTLE SYSTEM!! YESSS!!

Were any of my questions answered? No, but it’s the first game I wasn’t expecting any and the game was still incredibly fun so I got the second one. Unfortunately, I started Kingdom Hearts 2 expecting some answers, instead I got more of SquareEnix’s infamous floating sentences, Roxas, and more Organization members.

Ho ho, You want sense and answers? That’s gonna be harder to find than me!

Don’t get me wrong, I find the games extremely fun to play and I fully endorse getting them, but the story is just so convoluted!

Looking at Dream Drop Distance I feel like I’m only going to be more confused with their addition of the “Dream Eaters” who happen to look like Pokemon.

Here’s technicolor Bidoof

and Woobat

and… Ponyta? Robot Unicorn? My Little Pony? One of those rainbow colored hippy pictures?

I’m aware that it’s a Disney game but DAMN! Bottom line is the games are fun and you should be playing them, but be wary! Don’t try to make sense of it you will only hurt your brain, and in case you couldn’t tell from the Dream Eaters, there will be much talk of friendship…

-Karinacus will punch someone in the face if she hears another GOD DAMN FRIENDSHIP SPEECH!

P.S. Funny story time ( WITH SPOILERS)( kinda old spoilers though) ! Every one in Organization XIII has a Nobody name and their real name. Their Organization name is just their real name jumbled up with the letter X added. One time, a friend and I were bored and decided to mess with the names and see if we could figure out any of Organization member names. One by one we went through them and eventually arrived at Xemnas. The following event proceeded..

Friend: Okay, the next one is Xemnas

Me: We already know it’s Ansem, but let’s fiddle with it anyway.

* We stare at it for a while*

Friend and I: Man Sex….

Me:…  This makes sense….

DOES IT NOT MAKE SENSE?!?!

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8 responses »

  1. DarkDragonFamiliar says:

    I totally remember doing this! Marluxia’s is questionable… Lumaria? Armulia? Man I think we should just stick with Cherry Blossom Scythe Wielding Gay Dood.

  2. captainlazy says:

    It makes perfect sense.

  3. JeffreyisKINGDAMMIT says:

    I love the entire series! But yeah, plot-wise it makes no damn sense. At least I beat the crap out of mofos with a huge ass key! And yeah, Man Sex totally makes sense. Just look at him!

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