Dot Hack//Sign, But With More Murder And Stuff

As I stated the other day, I got to see the entirety of Sword Art Online whilst on my extensive break because a lot of my friends were raving about how good of an anime it is.

sword art onlineSummary time!!

Sword Art Online is about the launch of a brand new, highly anticipated Virtual Reality MMORPG. Unfortunately, on the first day when every one has logged on they find that they have been trapped by the creator of both the video game and the Nerve Gear (the head console that plays virtual reality games). To be able to log out and rejoin the real world the players need to beat the ultimate objective of the game, clearing a 100 floor tower filled with monsters and bosses.

So what, they’re locked in a video game . hack kinda did the same thing, I don’t want to watch a rip of-BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!! If you die in the game the Nerve Gear sends out strong microwaves, frying the players brain.

It has a really good premise and all that, but I have some serious bones to pick with these characters.

The anime follows the main character, Kirito, and his time in the game. I found I would have enjoyed it a lot more if the female characters were a lot more likable… or, you know, even acted like a sensible person.

I can’t think of a single female character that didn’t want to jump Kirito’s bones after just meeting him. His girlfriend is understandable, but that doesn’t explain the four other girls who absolutely gaga over this guy (including his sister/cousin… It’s complicated)

I guess he's got a 20 in charisma or something.

I guess he’s got a 20 in charisma or something.

Now I can stand that because it’s typical anime procedure to have a harem and incest nowadays so let’s move on to Asuna….


*SPOILERS* Now after about a year or so of being stuck in the game and seeing some of his close friends die, Kirito finally joins a guild where he finds a girl he had previously met, Asuna, is in a high ranking position. We even get to see her kick butt and give orders sometimes so you know she’s supposed to be a strong, independent woman… Except she’s not…

1. In the lil’ montage that was supposed to show us how much of an awesome leader she is, she is giving orders to the guild members to use the village NPCs as a distraction to defeat a boss, when later they say bosses and enemies never appear in towns… So… What was she talking about?

2. She can’t control the men under her command. When it looks like Kirito and Asuna are becoming more than friends, her bodyguard becomes crazy possessive and tries to kill Kirito on more than one occasion.

3. She can’t decide anything for herself. Finally Kirito and Asuna are a happy couple with no problems other than being stuck in a murderous video game. Oh wait, Kirito has decided that Asuna can no longer be in the guild because it’s too dangerous for her and he just want them to retire to a virtual lake house. The guild has a problem with this because of Asuna’s important position, however instead of talking to her directly about the matter she is completely ignored while the men fight over and decide her problems for her.

4. She is suicidal and cray. While all the talk of leaving the battlefield is going on Asuna only manages to convince Kirito to leave with her by threatening to kill herself if he were to die… lk … Seriously!…

5. She is dominated by her emotions. We’re supposed to believe that Asuna is a smart and strong woman, but in every instance we see her she is dominated by her emotions rather than logic. When an army of players foolishly charges into a battle that is surely to end in everyone dead, Asuna chooses to run in blindly trying to save everyone, forcing Kirito to run in and save nearly dying in the process… Oh and pretty much everyone else was dead.

6. She is treated like a trophy even after the game is over. So Kirito manages to defeat the evil creator of the game, but wait!! What’s this!?! Kirito is awake, but Asuna is trapped in ANOTHER game! maybe this time she’ll be more usef-

glare angrily

glare angrily

sit angrily

sit angrily

oh look in this one she is depressed

oh look in this one she is depressed

hahaha, now she’s a sex slave… Wonderful..